In This Sanctuary
by cupcakeee
Summary: With everything surrounding her, Emma is feeling closer to her breaking point than ever before, feeling as if nothing can take away the pain pulling at her insides. Could the girl be wrong though? [One Shot]


Emma Nelson's aquamarine eyes locked onto the plate-glass windows placed above her birch wood dresser. The sun was shining brightly today, almost too bright. It teared her eyes, making her midnight black mascara slightly run. But, that wasn't the only reason her mascara was running, the tears gathering in the corner of her eyes made it even worse. Over the last few days her small basement bedroom had become an sanctuary to Emma. The pale orchid canopy hanging down from the ceiling and ending in a flowing pile of lace on the coarse tan carpeting, was like a shield to her. Protection from the outside world. 

It wasn't Emma's fault she was like this. It was the fault of someone...Someone who had ruined her life, traumatized her forever. All Emma could see that day was red, it covered her eyes..Dazing her, she still knew of everything happening, yes..But, that was the day she lost part of herself. Something she could never get back or forget. He had pulled a gun on her...Pointed it right toward her. At that moment, she heard voices in her head...Cries and screams, telling her to run and hide from everything. Go hide in in a corner and cry her eyes out. But, that didn't happen. Her shoes stuck to the ground, her mouth as dry as sandpaper. And then...The gun went off. She had no idea who had took the bullet which had been meant for herself..She didn't realize it until the body of her ex-love, Sean Cameron and Rick, the psychopath, hit the floor.

Blood..Poring out of the person who had taken the bullet, Rick. Not knowing what to do, Emma had gotten on her knees, in-between Rick and Sean. She checked the gunman's pulse, feeling nothing. His hands were cold, the gun which had killed him lay somewhat across the hallway. She had looked up to see Toby gone, running down the hallway. He was afraid, scared to death...Emma was too, obviously. But, she wanted to save Sean. She didn't want him to die, he had been her first love. She had shared her first kiss with him, he had been the first boy she had danced with, her first boyfriend..Her first everything. Placing her hands onto the ground, she felt cold liquid beneath her fingertips..Blood. Screaming, Emma got up from the ground and ran into the bathroom.

Washing her hands furiously, she got off all the crimson liquid. The mirror in front of her doubled an image of herself. Puffed red eyes, black mascara streaming down her cheeks...She would always remember this image, it was herself broken. The first time she had actually seen it, seen her broken self.

But, that wasn't everything...Emma wasn't like this just because of Rick's death, getting held at gunpoint and Jimmy getting shot...Something had happened..The Monday after that tragic day, Sean went to Wasaga Beach. Not alone, but with Ellie, Jay and herself. They came to Wasaga Beach as a group of four, but left as three. Sean was staying with his parents, people he had never wanted to speak to again. She remembered the look on Ellie's face as they drove off in Jay's Civic. Pain and anger wrapped in one. Tears streamed down the beautiful gothic girl's face. But, they also streamed down Emma's. She had started to feel her love for Sean again...He had saved her life, almost losing his life for Emma..That was the bravest thing anyone could do, he was her hero.

That wasn't it though. It was the person driving Emma and Ellie back to Toronto that was part of this...Jay had looked up to his rear-view mirror to see Emma's face..Beautiful, yet very fragile. Like a porcelain doll, easy to crack..But, strong at the same time. She blew a stand of her long flaxen hair out of her face, sniffling. Jay had never really felt anything for Emma before...Maybe hate or anger towards her. But, nothing like how he was feeling now. Seeing her cry made him upset. He wanted to comfort her, tell her everything would be okay..But, that would ruin his bad boy image. Someone catching him with the environmentalist goody-two shoes in his arms...Did he want to risk that? Not really.

He had pulled the car up to Sean and Ellie's home, letting Ellie out of the car...It was now Ellie's home, Sean was living in Wasaga Beach. Ellie was now basically alone, she had Ashley sure. And Marco, definitely..But, living with her mother again scared Ellie to death. Jay watched as the girl walked into her "home" and slammed the door behind her, he winced at the bang and started to drive off, only to stop the car.

"Emma?" Jay asked, still looking forward

"W-what?" Emma asked, sniffling

"Do you want to sit up front? In the passenger's seat? It'll be easier to get out when we get to your house" Jay said

"Um...Okay" Emma said, getting out of the back-seat of the car

Her feet him the roadside cement, walking towards the passengers door. She slowly opened the door and sat on the seat, slamming the door shut...Emma didn't get why Jay was being so nice to her. It was pretty strange..Great, another thing to confuse and trouble her now. She sighed, putting her head in her hands. Jay eyes Emma, sighing also. He had no idea how she was feeling, he would never have any idea.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jay asked

"About what?" Emma asked, quietly

"You know..It" Jay said, sighing

"Rick?" Emma asked, slowly "There's nothing to talk about"

"Right..He held you at gun point, Emma" Jay said "You need to talk about it"

"No, I don't" Emma said "It's done, over with"

"It'll never be over with, Nelson" Jay said "And you know that"

"Shut up, Jay" Emma said, sighing

Jay sighed yet again, looking at the road in front of him. Cement as far as the eye can see, the usual...It was then, for some reason, that he need to tell someone. He wanted to tell what he had did...What Alex, Spinner and him had did to Rick. Tell Emma that he was the reason Rick had snapped. Jay looked over to see a dirt road, pulling into it, he pulled the keys out of the ignition and put them in his Jean pocket.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked, raising her eyebrow

"I...I need to tell you something" Jay said, sighing

"What do you have to tell me?" Emma asked

"It's about..It's about Rick" Jay said

"No..I am not going to talk about him" Emma said, grabbing the door handle

"Emma..No" Jay said, pulling her back

"Damn it, Jay! Don't touch me!" Emma exclaimed, glaring at him

"I pulled the paint-and-feather plot" Jay said, too quickly to understand

"What? What did you just say..I couldn't hear you? Could you speak a little louder?" Emma asked, sarcastically

"I said..I pulled the paint-and-feathers plot!" Jay exclaimed

At that point, Emma's mouth dropped open. Her eyes, yet again, filled with tears. Why was he telling her this now? Didn't Jay get how traumatized Emma was? She glared at the man, biting on her lip. It took a lot of strength for Emma not to slap him right away...She didn't want anyone to endure anymore pain..But, Jay deserved it. Raising her right hand, Emma brought her palm to Jay's face, a slapping sound ricocheting around the inside of his Civic.

"H-how c-could you do that?" Emma asked, choking on her words

"I don't know" Jay said "I was..I hated him..I hate anyone who abuses women..My father is the why I do" he paused "Every night he use to come home drunk and would beat my mother...I just..Hate it"

"Well, that doesn't give you the right, Jay" Emma said "Rick..It wouldn't of happened if..Oh my God! It's your fault, Jay!"

"I know it is! And I am sorry because of that! I don't know why I did It..I'm an idiot!" Jay yelled, slapping his hands against the steering wheel

"God..I..Jay" Emma said, not being able to get the words out

Emma stopped to look into her sworn enemies eyes, they were gorgeous. A mix between ice blue and aqua. She realized, if she looked into them long enough, she could get lost...Jay could feel it, how Emma was feeling right then...He was feeling the same exact thing. Confusing, why them? Why Emma Nelson? Why Jay Hobart?...And without any thoughts, Emma put her hand on Jay's shoulder, indicating this was a moment that was suppose to end a certain way..And it did. Jay caught her signal and grabbed Emma's waist, pulling her body towards him They sat there, their faces not even an inch apart, still staring into each other's eyes. As she looked into those eyes, she felt safe..Something she never thought he would make her feel. Emma leaned forward a little bit and their lips met.

Her lips tasted of citrus fruit, something he wanted to savor. This was something they had prayed would never occur...Something they thought never would and as Emma pulled away that feeling of safe quickly disappeared...Emma was shocked. She had just kissed Jay Hobart...the school rebel, someone she was suppose to hate..But, she wasn't hating him right now. She was breathing in him, not wanting to leave that car ever. That's what was scaring Emma right then and that is why the feeling of safeness went away. Her eyes shot around the car. She started breathing heavily, pulling as far away from Jay as she could manage.

"I need to go home" Emma said

"Emma, I..." Jay said, abruptly being cut off by Emma

"No..I need to go home!" Emma yelled, frantically

Jay shrugged, taking his keys out and putting them into the ignition. He pulled out of the deserted dirt driveway and drove towards the Simpson/Nelson residence. There was an eerie silence during the five minute ride to Emma's home, this silence continued when Jay pulled into the driveway of Emma's house and Emma stepped out of the car. She looked at Jay one last time, her eyes wandering around the yard. Emma then let out a frustrated sigh, running into her house.

That is where she is now. Sitting in her bedroom, feeling sorry for herself. Her eyes constantly wandering around her bedroom, waiting for someone to try and talk to her. No one had. They just gave her food and drinks, leaving after that. That made her hurt even more than she should have been hurting. Laying back onto her mattress, Emma looked over at her wall and waited. It seemed like hours before someone even opening her door. This time it made her feel different, it wasn't like Snake or her mother bring her food, it was different. She lifted her head up to see Jay staring at her...Emma's eyes widened, her heart starting to pound.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked, her voice raspy

"I came to s-...I came to talk about what happened on Monday" Jay said, walking closer to Emma

"Is there really need to talk? We kissed..So, what" Emma said, sighing

"Emma, there is no "so what" to this" Jay said "I felt something..I know you did too"

Emma sighed and got off of her bed, her feet sinking into the rug at the side of her bed. She walked towards Jay, dark bags under her eyes..Stains from her tears still marking her cheeks. Jay cringed, her had never seen her this way. Not looking strong and confident, that was a first.

"Are you okay?" Jay asked, still looking at her appearance

"Oh, yeah..Just fine" Emma said, sarcastically "Fine and dandy"

"Come one, Em...You're lying" Jay said

"Don't call me, Em" Emma said "Only certain people can..And you're not one of them"

"How come you're taking everything like this? You're alive...Be grateful" Jay said

"Oh, you don't know how grateful I am" Emma said, walking even closer to Jay "I am the luckiest person on earth...I've almost been raped by an internet stalker, dealt with my mom marrying one of my teachers and having my younger brother with him...Losing my best friend, because she'd rather be a stupid whore than a good enough friend to give a damn about me!" she paused "Sean..I've lost him twice..Once because of you and to top it all off..Throw that huge cherry on top! I had a gun pointed at my head by a psychopath!"

"Emma..I want to-.." Jay said, being cut off

"No..You don't want to help me or have anything to do with me. Get that, Jayson" Emma said, starting to cry "Just get that, okay?"

Emma locked eyes with Jay, starting to cry harder. Everything was so confusing...She didn't get life. How if could be so nice and then turn around and stab you in the back. She cried harder at this, clenching her teeth together, she had lost grip...Realizing this, Emma dropped to her knees, crying hysterically. Jay looked down at the girl, who was slamming her fists onto the floor. Kneeling down next to her, Jay took Emma in his arms. Comforting her, he ran his hands through her silky hair and whispered that everything would be alright.

"Why is life like this? Why is it so fucking hard?" Emma asked, her head buried in Jay's chest

"I don't know..But, I've experienced it enough to have my own philosophy" Jay said "Just when you think things are getting good, they backfire and hit you right in the heart..Where it hurts the most"

Emma looked up at Jay and for some reason finally got him...He was just like her, but diffrent in one way...A way she couldn't see, something was hidden deep inside him. And this made her finally smile, the first time in a few days. She brought herself up and let their lips meet again, knowing everything might really be alright.


End file.
